Residency: The First Two Weeks

Josh's first two weeks of his surgical residency are over.  Well, okay, he has to work tonight.  So I guess his first two weeks are officially over tomorrow, but close enough.  I am betting there are a number of people out there who are curious how residency really is compared to 3rd and 4th year clinical rotations.  And to be quite honest, there are a lot of similarities while at the same time a lot of differences.

First of all, Josh is loving residency.  He loves finally being a doctor.  He has his own patients, writes orders, creates plans, executes plans, assists in surgery, does procedural stuff in patient's rooms, and basically, gets to make decisions (some not all) without another physician having to sign off on it.  It seems to be at this hospital, that if you prove you can handle the work, you get more work.  Which is actually a good thing.

He is working a lot of hours as an intern, coming close to hitting the 80 hour limit set for interns each week.  It's hard to have him leave the house before 5am every morning and not get home until sometimes as late as 7pm.  He doesn't see much of me or Ryan but it could be worse.  During clinicals, he had to take 24 hour call 2 days a week and had some weeks where he was working 100+ hours.  If anything, ARMC prepared him for long hours.  ARMC also gave him confidence in patient care because he was required/allowed to do so much as a student that being an intern resident isn't quite as overwhelming for Josh as it may be for others.

He is really enjoying working with his senior residents and attendings and feels like it is really a team atmosphere.  Which, as a previous quarterback, he can appreciate.

He feels quite a bit of pressure to perform well, which I am sure is typical for most interns in any residency program, but since he is a preliminary surgical resident, that pressure is increased.  He and I really like Massachusetts so far and considering that he basically fell into this surgical residency position, UMass seems like the most amazing fit for Josh and I.  Despite the long hours of work, we are the happiest we've been in a long time.

We would love to stay here for the remainder of his surgical residency and so it's hard not to think about it on a daily basis. But for now, Josh can only work as hard as he can and hope that that's enough to keep us here.  I have faith that God will keep us here or put us where we are supposed to be.  And He hasn't let me down yet.

Ryan: 12 Months

A week ago today, Ryan turned 1 year old.  I don't know that I'll continue to do "monthly" posts anymore now that we have entered the toddler phase, and God knows I won't be sad to not have to do the monthly photos anymore.  But I am sad that my baby is not so much a baby anymore.

22lbs 14oz (75%ile) and 29 inches (40%ile)

I will be the first to admit, the infant stage was really not my favorite.  Yes, I love holding newborn babies that just sleep in your arms and weigh only a few pounds, but I didn't love the sleepless nights, the every few hour feedings, the crying for no discernible reason, not feeling like I could leave the house, and basically having a baby attached to me every moment of every day.  I have a few friends who are in the middle of this stage right now and the only thing I can say is, it won't last forever.  Suddenly you'll snap your fingers and your baby will be a one year old and you'll wonder why you were so anxious for the infant stage to be over.

However, I AM loving this age.  At a year, we occasionally still have sleepless nights, there are tantrums now when she doesn't get her way, she's on the move 24/7, and she's still with me every single day all day, but she is also my best little friend.  I've gotten used to doing everything with her.  In fact, the other day I was able to go to the grocery store by myself and while I was in and out of there super fast, I missed my little buddy sitting in the cart basket making all kinds of noises and drawing a ridiculous amount of attention down every aisle.  And dare I say it, grocery shopping is kind of boring with out her.

Her biggest milestones this past month?  Well, the biggest by far is that we now have a walker!  About 2 weeks before her birthday, Ryan got brave enough to take steps without holding on to something.  And now, she toddles around the house like it's no big deal.  I still find it funny to look over and see her walking into the kitchen while I'm cooking, I mean really, it's the cutest thing!  With her new ability comes an increase in blood pressure for me, as we've already had a couple close calls after catching her feet on the rug and falling face first toward the coffee table.

What else?  We are still breastfeeding, usually once in the early AM, once around 4pm after her afternoon nap, and a 6oz bottle of pumped milk before bed.  I cut her 12pm feeding this month and that went super smoothly.  Honestly, we are so busy most days that she didn't even notice it.  And I started adding cow's milk to my breast milk for her evening bottle.  Currently, we are doing 3oz of each and she's taking it fine.  It won't be long before it's a full bottle of cow's milk and I can be done pumping for good.  Can I get an Amen!?!?  Next I plan to cut the 4pm feeding, which I don't anticipate being that hard.  The early morning one and the occasional middle of the night ones could prove to be the most difficult.  But I'm not in a huge hurry.  I'll be happy to have my body totally back to myself, but I know I'll miss it to a degree.

Ryan's been napping extremely well the past month.  I feel like we FINALLY got her on a great nap schedule and as it turns out, my child CAN take good naps.  Go figure.  It only took a year.  She now naps twice a day around 10am and 3pm.  Her morning nap is usually close to an hour while her afternoon nap has been about 1.5-2 hours.  Heavenly.  It's best if her naps are at home and in her crib.  Occasionally she has to nap on the go, especially for her morning nap and she only cat naps in the carseat or stroller.

A few of Ryan's favorite things:

• Mickey Mouse Club House show (and the "hot dog" dance)
• The Tale of Peter Rabbit pop-up book
• Raspberries
• Hot dogs with marinara
• Her "my-size" chair
• Being chased by Dad
• Splash Parks
• Pulling dvd's out of the dvd rack, laundry out of the hamper, make-up out of drawers, pots out of the cupboard....you get the idea.
• Bath time/Shower time
• Stacking blocks
• Playdates with baby friends
• Feeding herself

A few of her not so favorite things:

• Being forced to sit still longer than she wants to.  For example in the stroller.
• Being forced to lay down on the changing pad for diaper changes.
• Having "toys" taken away.
• Basically not having free reign over the entire house. :)

I hear toddlers can be quite the challenge, but bring it on.  After surviving year one, I feel like we can survive anything. :)

Smashing Some Cake

One of the newer trends for celebrating 1st birthdays is having a "cake smash" photo shoot so that you can fully document your new toddler in full frosting face glory, totally demolish a birthday cake.

She's not loving it or anything.

Since I knew Josh and I wouldn't be hosting some fabulous party for Ryan's first birthday, because let's face it, even though Josh is now an MD, we are still poor as s**t and honestly, we don't know that many people here in Worcester; I reasoned that it would be okay for me to spend a little money on a fabulous 1st birthday outfit and then pay someone to take pictures while Ryan ruined it.

I found a really sweet lady by the name of Michele from Normand-Ashley Photography, who took a few great pictures of Ryan doing a cake smash at a local park for an even better price.  On top of that, she got the edited photos back to me ridiculously fast.  If you are interested in seeing her other work, please check her out HERE.

Ryan loved it! And was surprisingly dainty about eating the cake, which she had never had before this day.  She really just picked at the frosting.  No face diving here.  But it was so sweet.

My top tips for doing a cake smash:

• Get a photographer: This way you can enjoy watching your 1 year old devour the cake and not worry about whether you are documenting it accordingly.  You can find one for a pretty inexpensive price if you just do a little searching on the internet.

• Take pictures outside:  Oh my gosh, the cleanup is a breeze compared to trying to do this in your house.  Even if you don't hire a photographer, go to your local park and take them yourself.  Much better lighting and much better than having frosting dug into your carpet or smeared across your walls!  Because let's be honest here, there will be frosting EVERYWHERE.

• Balloons are great photo props:  And they are cheap too!

• Make your own cake:  This will cut down on your photographer cost and it's really not hard to do.  With things like youtube and the baking section at Michaels or Joanns, you can pick up a piping bag and DIY pretty easily. I assure you, I had NO decorating experience prior to making this cake and I think it turned out great! It doesn't have to be perfect, it's going to get destroyed anyway.

• Don't be afraid to let your little one do their thang!: So your 1 year old cries during the photos?  So what? Makes for even funnier pictures!  They tip over the cake? HILARIOUS!  
  
  
  
  

So there you have it.  My tips for a great cake smash and some amazing pictures that I will truly treasure forever of Ryan's 1st birthday.

Photo Credit: Normand-Ashley Photography
Tutu: Simply Elegant
"One" Onesie: Olive and Birdie
Flower Headband: Little Addie's Boutique
Gold Party Hat: Kutie Bowtuties

A Letter to My One Year Old

My Dearest Ryan Cathleen,

Today you are one whole year old.  As your Mama, it's just hard to believe that you are a one year old, a toddler.  My how this year has simultaneously been slow and fast at the same time.

I remember when you were in my tummy and I used to sit in your room and daydream about what you would look like.  Would you have Mommy's eyes or Daddy's smile?  Would you have lots of hair?  I couldn't wait to hold you and smell your newborn smell and kiss your sweet cheeks.  I would sit in your rocker and imagine rocking you to sleep or look over at your crib and picture my little bundle sleeping in it.  Ten months of waiting seemed like such an eternity to me.

One year ago today, July 3, 2013, at 6:35pm, the Dr. placed this perfect 7 lb 15 oz baby girl in my arms and I just fell instantly in love.  You looked a bit like a red prune, with a cone shaped head, chubby little cheeks, and dark hair but you had 10 perfect fingers and toes and eyes that locked onto mine instantly.  I like to think that we were best friends from the beginning.

The past 12 months have been some of the hardest and yet most rewarding months of my life with you, Ryan.  We've had to learn all sorts of things you and me.  From breastfeeding to bottle feeding to real food, from long sleepless nights to sleep training and teething, sick days, and fussy days we've been through it all together.  You've learned to roll and sit and crawl and now walk and it's really just amazing that God has blessed me so much that I could be witness to all of these huge firsts in your life.

Ryan Cathleen, you are the sweetest little girl with a personality that lights up every room.  You draw everyone's attention when we are out and about and there aren't many people who don't stop to say hello to you, which makes for extra long shopping trips!  You smile and laugh all day long and you are the biggest talker!  I laugh daily while watching you chat away about God knows what!  You are independent while at the same time a huge Mama's girl.

Ry, I know that in the years to come we won't always see eye to eye.  We will probably fight about how much makeup you can wear or at what age you'll be allowed to go on dates, drive a car, or how late your curfew is, but I hope you always know how much I love you.  You have brought me more joy in your first year than I ever thought possible and no matter how much of a big girl you get to be, you'll always be my baby.  Happy 1st Birthday Ryan!

I love you to the moon and back,

Mommy

Mommas, Babes, and Farm Animals

I feel so very blessed since moving to Massachusetts that I was lucky enough, through social media of all things, to meet the most fabulous group of women, who also happen to be Mommas to a bunch of adorable little girls.  God just knew I was going to need some friends here in Worcester, especially now that Josh has officially started his intern year and will probably be gone 5 zillion hours every day.

Since meeting them all for the first time a few weeks ago, we have literally done something practically every single day.  From walks on trails, baby time at the public library, swimming playdates, and shopping trips; we seem to come up with something to do just about daily.  And that works out perfectly for Ryan and I because we have nothing to do most days of the week!

Yesterday, we made a trip to Sterling, MA (about 25 minutes away) to a place called Davis Farmland.  This wasn't just your average farm.  First of all, there is a massive petting zoo with lots of goats, sheep, baby chicks, and turtles!  Ryan got a kick out of all the animals.

Just some baby friends!

Then we went on a hayride.

And took some selfies....obviously.

And last but certainly not least, we visited the huge splash pad! Ryan seriously loved it.  This child is definitely not afraid of the water.  She was playing and splashing and WALKING all over.  She could hang with the big kids and that made me kind of sad!  I thoroughly enjoyed watching her play and ran around with her attempting to take pictures while dodging random streams of water.  It was too fun.

All the babies and the mommas!

5 Necessities for Surviving the First Year

Infancy is tough.  And it's also wonderful.  The first year of Ryan's life was both tougher and more wonderful than I could have ever thought possible.  As we approach Ryan's first birthday next week and, gulp, toddlerhood (omg I seriously cannot wrap my head around having a toddler), I thought it would be fun to put together my top five necessities for surviving your child's first year.

Now, I totally understand that these may not be YOUR top 5 necessities.  Every baby is different, believe me, I know this because my friends baby naps for multiple hours during the day while mine takes 30 minute catnaps.  :)  However, I'm sure there will be some other mamas out there in agreement with at least one or all of my top five.

1. Invest in a great nursing chair.

Seriously, this will save your life at your 1am feedings.  And at your 3am and 4am and 5am feedings.  Oh and at the 6-8 other hour long feedings you have throughout your day when your baby is a newborn.  You will spend a RIDICULOUS amount of time feeding your child when they are a newborn and if it's not feeding, it's burping, or holding them upright so they don't puke out half of what you just spent over an hour giving them.  Or maybe just holding them because they fell asleep while feeding them and God forbid you get up and wake them up so you decide it's best just to sit tight and maybe snooze for a minute while they snooze.  And while doing all of this, where are you?  Hopefully in the nice, comfy nursing chair that you invested in because if you are going to spend so much time sitting, it may as well be an a super comfortable chair.

2. Get a breast pump (if breastfeeding) and introduce a bottle.

Moms, I get it.  You are breastfeeding and you want your baby to want to breastfeed.  You hesitate to introduce a bottle because you've heard of that terrible thing called "nipple confusion."  Well guess what, there's also this terrible thing called "my baby won't take a bottle and I can't leave my child for more than an hour because no one else can feed her."  Yes, it happens.  I introduced a bottle around the 5 week mark and Ryan has gotten one bottle a day at bedtime since then.  Introducing a bottle and keeping it as a regular fixture in her daily routine allowed me the freedom to leave the house on occasion knowing that she could be fed by someone else.  It also has allowed Josh and I to go out in the evening for a date because someone else is capable of feeding her and putting her down for the night.  You cannot put a price on that kind of freedom as a new Mom.  Which brings me to this....

3. Don't be afraid to ask for help.

Sometimes, we as Mamas want to pretend that we are not just Moms.  We want to believe we are Super Woman.  We attempt to do it all.  Do the housework, grocery shop, make dinner, do laundry, keep our husbands happy, pay bills, perhaps work from home, and keep a newborn alive all while functioning on little to no sleep with hormones that are running a-freakin-muck.  Here's the problem with trying to fly like Super Woman.  Eventually,  you will crash and burn.  My advice, is ask for help.  Call your Mom, call your best friend, hell, call your best friend's Mom.  Seriously, whatever you need.  Get someone to come over to hold your screaming child so you can walk aimlessly around Target (that's where I like to go!)  Or if you are afraid to leave your little one, get someone to come over and be with you while you hold your screaming child!  You have to take breaks and just because you need some time away from your baby does not make you a bad Mom.  In fact, it probably makes you a better one because you can come back refreshed and re-energized and ready to deal with the fussing and crying and stress of being a caregiver to your sweet baby.

4. Make friends with people who have babies.

It can be a really isolating life when you have a baby.  Suddenly, you spend all your time at home and even when your friends visit, you are distracted by the child that you have to care for.  Then, when you do get the courage to leave the house, your baby has a meltdown in aisle five of the grocery store, or has a major blowout at the middle of lunch with a friend, or pukes all down your shirt at the mall and you decide it's just not worth it and it's easier to stay at home.  Here's the thing.  It IS easier, but it's also going to make you go insane.  We are wired to crave interaction with other people.  There's nothing that will make you resent your child more than feeling like you've completely lost the life you used to live (the life before baby).  But, if you put yourself out there and make friends with other women who have children, suddenly, that meltdown is just considered background noise, the poop blowout is no big deal, and the puke down your shirt, well that's just "normal" Mom smell because those Mom's that you hang with, they are dealing with the EXACT SAME STUFF!  They are tired like you, they understand your frustration when your 10 month old suddenly isn't sleeping through the night anymore, and they feel your pain when you are dealing with a sick child.  And making friends with Moms is actually quite easy because most Moms want to make friends with other Moms.  Join a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group, go to your local library's story time, or frequent your neighborhood park.  Make friends with Moms because these women will become your life support.

And lastly,

5. Love on your baby the best you can because infancy doesn't last long.

If there's anything I've learned this past year, it's that I may not do everything "right."  I may get frustrated and lose my patience at times.  I may send Ryan to bed smelling like a hot dog because we ran out of time for an evening bath.  She may have eaten some dirt or dust or dog food because I took my eye off of her for one minute.  I didn't hand make all of her baby food and I may or may not allow her to watch TV because it entertains her while I drink my morning (and afternoon) coffee. :)  But, I love my daughter to the moon and back and I truly believe at only one year old, that she knows that.  I tell her every day, multiple times a day.  I play with her and read to her and rock her to sleep and kiss her and hug her and I know that she knows that I love her.  And honestly, I'm sure that that is what's most important.  Love is the most important necessity of all.